Current mood:	awake
Entry tags:	culture, korea, news

For some, the myth of "happily ever after" remains a MYTH
Amid protests slamming a Republic of Korean news article portraying Vietnamese women as merely dying to marry Korean men, public in Vietnam is requesting for drastic measures to tackle the problem.

I read about the plight of Vietnamese and Mongolian catalogue brides with sadness. These women are seriously deluded if they think they could live happily ever after in South Korea. As one of them from the rural area believes, she could "escape poverty by marrying a man from another country", just like her relative who married a Taiwanese guy and thanks to the marriage is now "living in a new concrete house". How fucked up is that sort of desperate reasoning? These women think Korean men are good options because 1. they're Asians also, therefore could closely relate in terms of culture and 2. South Korea is a fast developed country with plenty of opportunities. Or so it seems.

The reality for these women is on the contrary. And we all know what happens to most "Kosian" children—children of Korean and other (less superior) Asian parentage-- in Korean society. Life is harsh, that's the reality.

It would make a lot of difference if both parents were highly educated. However, the people involved in this sort of hunt for Asian brides are usually farmers, manual workers or labourers, looking for women who would work equally as or harder than they do. And there are no binding law that protects these foreign brides and definitely no law that protects their future children from discrimination and ill treatment from so-called pureblood Koreans.

Unless another Hines Ward is produced, society's views of these children will remain skewed negatively. Ostracized and shunned, you hear of many who succumbed to vices and illegal trades. Thus it's a vicious circle, as these children couldn't change their fates because they weren’t given opportunities to do so. And so they continue to live in poverty, just like their parents before them but with an added stigma of being "mixed blood".

I personally know people who chase after Korean partners with similar reasoning like the Vietnamese catalogue brides. They think life would be heavenly in beautiful Korea, money comes easy, their Korean partners will treat them like kings and queens, etc etc. Only if you're lucky, only if you're really lucky. Otherwise, Koreans are just like any other race, there're rotten apples too. Not all Korean men are tender like Bae Yong Jun's character Kang Junsang in Winter Sonata. Not all Korean women are as sweet as Choi Ji Woo's Jung Yoojin. If you're looking for a potential life partner based solely on what you've seen of the Koreans on screen, then you better be ready for sore disappointment.

I'm partially blaming the Korea Wave (Hallyu) for all these light-headed notions formed in the minds of the ignorant public that worship Korean pop culture as they see it. All the successful dramas and movies that made it to this part of the world breed unrealistic ideas about Korean people and life in Korea. Also, a drama like Hanoi Bride (starring Lee Dong Wook and Kim Ok Bin) did nothing but paint a glossy picture out of the Vietnamese bride issue. No wonder it was a big hit in Vietnam! All the ladies were probably dreaming to be like Tib in the drama.

The influence of these dramas on people's mentality is very evident indeed. A gyopo Korean friend of mine recently told me about her younger brother’s situation at uni. He's apparently very popular with the Taiwanese and Mainland Chinese girls in his class. These girls are international students, and they love to rave on and on about "cute" Korean guys like RAIN *rolls eyes* and Kim Jae Won. Since my friend's brother is the only Korean in the class, he's always confronted with giggly greetings in Korean by these flirty airheads, who try to speak to him in his mother tongue. Quite of few of them hinted at wanting to marry Koreans because Korean men are romantic, right in his presence. This coming from kids barely 20 years old. Tsk.

Seriously, I think an intercultural marriage involves more than just appreciation for pop culture and superficial success. It requires a profound understanding of each culture's thoughts, actions and words, as well as deep social and historical knowledge. Of course, the most important factor is the personal understanding and communication between the couple involved. They must have the initiative to keep the relationship going, not let their differences come in between like a silent third party. They need to confront these differences and find common grounds in order to live in harmonious matrimony.

Then again, if you were a mail order bride desperately looking for way out of your impoverished state, obviously you wouldn't bother to consider all those factors mentioned above. Especially when you have plans to run away once you step foot in Korea with a valid visa, like the many that had gone M.I.A after reaching Korean shores.

To read about mixed race children in Korea, please look at previous posts here and here.

On an unrelated note, 한국에가고싶서오!! 오늘은날씨가어떻습니까? *sigh*